TJak (Babatunde Jakande) is a great, bold, fearless and writer of nothing but the truth. Again he wrote the bitter truth and his experience with his son, which still remains the reality with most Nigeria and Nigerian’s, Africa and Africans today.
He said the Europeans mould and trained children’s on how to demand for frequent asked questions either from their parents or anybody , which is termed as rudeness in Nigeria. In a nutshell, Children’s brought up in Europe misconception and misperception of being uncultured and ill mannered erased but system over there prepared rightly prepares them for leadership task ahead.
TJak untitled Piece
I was raised to be obedient and respectful to elders. As a child i could not question orders from elders. One must obey and accept their logic even when it is apparently faulty. That is typical African culture .
So it was normal for my dad to change the TV channel to old boring NTA even while I was watching my favourite cartoon on DBN station. I might even serve punishment just for grumbling visibly. After all ,i ought to be reading my book. With such a background, i expected my children to fall in line too. But then maybe they should not have been born in Europe.
The other day, I changed the TV channel while Tobi was watching what I cannot even remember. He quietly said dad I was watching that you could have said excuse me or please. I was livid. Yj (wife) intervened and scolded him. She made him apologize.
Later that night, she said to me, SH you don’t live here. These kids don’t think the way you expect them to. She went on and on about how even in their schools they tell them their parents need permission to even check their school bags etc. I made up my mind to bring them back to Nigeria.
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By morning after reflecting over the incident, I realized some bitter truths. We as adults want children to abide to tradition because we don’t want to be questioned or made accountable. We equate age and authority to being above question. Tobi wasn’t rude, he wanted to know why I couldn’t be polite and ask if I could change the channel or apologise for doing so. But I felt he was rude.
This is exactly what seem to play out in Nigeria. Leaders do not like being questioned or made accountable. Majority of the followers because of their background are used to not asking leaders to account for their actions. They are ready to defend even the most blatant. This is responsible for prevalence of poverty which has further robbed us of that capability or capacity.
One is expected not to speak bad of a crooked public officer just because he is dead. Dying is a natural process of life and a dead man needs no immunity from judgement.
Kids born and bred in Europe are not rude, the society only equipped them with what ours robbed us of -boldness.
Now as parents we hate to loose control just like our leaders frown when you provide alternative views or accuse them of incompetence etc. That is not African they say. We cannot make any meaningful progress with this attitude. We must accept today’s realities and shed those aspects of our tradition that makes us timid and slavish.