The adolescents of today may find themselves waiting longer before marrying. This is not as a result of any direct fault of theirs but the complexity of our society of now. Parents and guardians must do better than pressure them on conventional beliefs. Your marrying at their age need not dictate that they should marry at same age under a totally different clime and human condition.
If you are reading this and you are pressured, kindly take a deep breath and relax. There is no point spending more time trying to be more physically attractive in order to impress anyone (crush or not) rather than making yourself mentally attractive.
Social media may have become a showglass for exhibiting body parts and vanities but do not let this distract you. Educate yourself, address your recurring toxic thoughts, deal with your insecurities and learn to be happy on your own. This is far more attractive than you know.
There are many broken adults out there that might have been saved if anyone had shared these thoughts with them in their formative years. Normalize saying “NO” without needing to over explain yourself. It is a complete sentence. If anyone is offended by your boundaries, that’s their problem not yours. The best weight you’ll ever shed is the weight of other people’s opinion of you. Avoid seeking external validation and approve yourself.
Other people’s definition of “fun” need not be yours. Fun is not defined by drinking, partying, casually taking drugs and getting high and socializing. Fun can be a night alone, getting lost in a book, a deep conversation with proven leaders/mentors, a walk, creative art, listening to music that inspires or practicing something you love and would want to be notable for. Fun speaks to your uniqueness and it remains intrinsically yours to define.
I address this often because of the growing number of our youth seeking guardiance under extreme pressure to blow or become the next sensation. You are enough. Age 15-35 is a golden era of your life. It’s okay to make friends and lose them. Make mistakes, correct them and learn from same. There is no point going through what others have being through when we can learn from their experience. There is a gulf of difference between enjoying life and ruining one’s future. Build credible relationships.
By Segun Saga Awosanya