Lagos Trains Marriage Registrars to Strengthen Premarital Counselling, Curb Domestic Violence
By Kosofe Post Reporter
The Lagos State Government, through the Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency (DSVA), has trained marriage registrars on effective premarital counselling to equip intending couples with the skills needed to build stable homes and reduce the incidence of domestic violence.
The two-day training, held in Ikeja, focused on improving the capacity of marriage registrars to guide couples before marriage and help them navigate issues that often lead to marital conflict.
Speaking at the training, the President of the Institute of Marriage Administrators and Counselors of Nigeria, Pastor Emmanuel Oladele, described premarital counselling as an essential process that prepares intending couples for the lifelong responsibilities of marriage.
According to him, marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires careful preparation rather than a casual relationship entered into without adequate understanding.
Oladele identified poor communication, financial disagreements, family interference, career differences, parenting styles, changing family roles, and infidelity as some of the major factors that could trigger domestic violence if not addressed before marriage.
He urged marriage registrars to ensure discussions on religion, health, finances, career aspirations, family planning, child upbringing, and fidelity form part of premarital counselling sessions to help couples align their expectations.
He also stressed that openness, honesty, mutual respect, and transparency are critical to sustaining healthy marriages.
Describing communication as the foundation of every successful marriage, Oladele encouraged registrars to teach intending couples effective communication, active listening, and constructive conflict resolution.
He noted that marriage requires patience, sacrifice, compromise, and mutual understanding, adding that many couples fail to embrace the responsibilities that come with becoming husband and wife.
Oladele reminded participants that they had been appointed as “fit and proper persons” under the Marriage Act and urged them to combine professionalism with empathy, emotional intelligence, and confidentiality in carrying out their duties.
He also advocated improved marriage registration procedures, proper documentation, strict compliance with the Marriage Act, and continuous professional development for marriage registrars.
Also speaking, family life therapist and Chief Executive Officer of Revive Afrique, Mrs. Florence Ogwu, attributed the increasing rate of marital crises to inadequate premarital preparation and the absence of continuous marriage counselling after weddings.
She said many couples enter marriage without fully understanding its demands and often fail to seek professional support as their relationships evolve.
According to Ogwu, rising cases of separation and divorce have far-reaching consequences for children raised in unstable homes.
She advocated comprehensive premarital counselling as well as periodic “marriage check-ups” to help couples navigate the different stages of married life.
While acknowledging that economic hardship has placed additional pressure on many families, Ogwu urged couples to adopt shared financial planning and cooperation to strengthen family stability.
She encouraged intending couples to embrace thorough premarital counselling and continuous learning as practical measures to reduce domestic violence, marital breakdown, and divorce.
Ogwu also advised marriage registrars to pay close attention to warning signs such as controlling behaviour, emotional manipulation, intimidation, and isolation, urging them to ask probing questions about finances, careers, household responsibilities, and childcare before couples exchange marital vows.
She cautioned against entering marriage due to external pressure and stressed that marriage does not automatically change violent or controlling behaviour.
According to her, healthy marriages are built on mutual respect, trust, emotional safety, effective communication, and shared responsibility.
She added that effective premarital counselling equips couples with the emotional maturity, practical skills, and knowledge needed to build stable, violence-free families and contribute to a safer society.