Many men will learn the hard way. They are told time and time again to nurture good relationships with their children while they are young, but they turn a deaf ear. When old age arrives and loneliness sets in, they look for someone to blame, and often, that someone is their wife.
The reality is simple: you reap what you sow. If you invest in your family by loving, supporting, and genuinely connecting with them, the rewards will come naturally. But if you neglect your role, fail to show love, and treat your family like an afterthought, the consequences are inevitable. The blame game doesn’t erase your choices, and it certainly doesn’t change the past.
Some men even convince themselves that their loneliness stems from being the disciplinarian or the head of the home. This is far from the truth. Plenty of men who were firm but fair, who guided their families with love and respect, enjoy the company and admiration of their children well into old age. Discipline isn’t the issue,it’s the lack of connection, care, and respect that drives people away.
Children aren’t blind, and they aren’t mindless robots. Even as toddlers and teenagers, they observe everything happening around them. They see how their father treats their mother,how he disrespects her, prioritizes side chicks over his family, and fails to show the mother any semblance of love. They notice the indifference in his interactions with them, how he never takes interest in their lives or their dreams. Even financially, they see when their father does the bare minimum while their mother carries the weight of keeping the family afloat. They can see it all.
When these children grow up and distance themselves, men are quick to blame their wives, claiming she “turned them against him.” They ignore the fact that these adult children have minds of their own. They remember the pain they witnessed, the neglect they felt, and the scars of a home where love was absent.
The truth is painful but necessary: your actions, or lack of them, shape the relationships you have with your children. No amount of blame will erase the choices you made or undo the years of hurt you caused. If you want a future where your family surrounds you with love, start by being the kind of father and husband who deserves that love today.
It is never too late to mend your ways, as a man if you know you have neglected your family and have no good relationships with them for a long time, ask them for forgiveness and repent. Ask for a second chance to make it right with them, and be intentional about it.
By Princess Janet