By Bilesanmi Abayomi
A Nigerian care worker based in the United Kingdom, Adesanya Oluwasegun who is also a trained lawyer, has criticised a viral WhatsApp message in which a woman declared she was searching for a husband — but explicitly excluded men working in care or support roles.
The message, reportedly written by a 31-year-old Operations Manager with ties to the UK’s National Health Service (NHS), has circulated widely across social media platforms. In it, the woman outlined her preferences for a life partner, listing honesty, loyalty, and readiness for marriage — but added a controversial caveat: “ideally not a care/support worker.”
The post sparked a flurry of reactions, with many accusing the woman of classism and prejudice. One response that has gained significant attention came from a Nigerian lawyer currently employed in the UK’s care sector. Describing the woman’s remarks as “shortsighted and unreasonable,” he offered a perspective rooted in personal experience.
“Most care and support workers are professionals,” he wrote. “Many are only in the sector temporarily to save money and fund their qualifications. Others work in care for visa reasons, and some do it out of genuine passion and fulfilment — which is golden.”
The lawyer, Adesanya who holds an LLB, BL, and LLM from Nigerian institutions, said he is currently studying for the UK’s Solicitors Qualifying Examination (SQE). He also holds a Master’s degree in Project Management from a British university. Despite these credentials, financial responsibilities have required him to take on care work, currently focusing on child support services after a previous stint in adult care.
“That will not be my life career,” he explained. “But people like her judge based on the present and ignore potential, ambition, and context. Choosing a life partner should be about character, values, and long-term prospects — not a job title in a transition phase.”
He ended his remarks with a pointed observation: “She’s not ready to marry.”
The exchange has reignited conversations around class bias, particularly within African diaspora communities, as well as the economic sacrifices many immigrants make while pursuing professional dreams abroad. Social media users have since debated the pressures of social mobility, visa restrictions, and the need for empathy in relationship expectations.
As the controversy continues to trend, it has raised broader questions about how job titles — particularly in sectors like care — are unfairly stigmatised, despite their critical role in society and the complex personal journeys of those who work within them.